nutella sex= disaster
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize