I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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