I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
