His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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