the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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