There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
