i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
vagina is talking i cant
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
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