It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
