You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize