Sponge bath it is.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
