Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
