I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
