do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
