He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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