She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
