But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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