WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Randomize
