what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
