I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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