I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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