just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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