GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
