he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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