Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize