I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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