I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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