Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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