Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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