Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
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