told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
