Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
