Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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