what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Randomize
