We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
My liver just broke up with me...
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
