she looked like the bat from fern gully.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
