at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
