Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
