How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
