bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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