What did we do last night that was yellow?
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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