She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
