Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
