oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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