I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
