Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
