I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
