just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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