i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
