We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize