I swear she didn't look like that last week.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
