His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
