Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
smell my finger.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Randomize
