I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
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