When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
farters have to be the big spoon...
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
