Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
