i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
