It was confusing and full of hummus
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
