Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
