Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
