Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
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