Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Go christen that room with your naked body.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
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