they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
