I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize