Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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