Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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