Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
