OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
two words: eviction party
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
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