We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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