Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
