Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
