Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
